Fifty years ago, Gerald Foos bought a motel in Aurora, Colorado, and rigged it up in order to watch his guests having sex. He saw a lot more than that.
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It does seem like more straight-identified guys are getting into mutual masturbation with other so-called straight guys these days. Or maybe connectivity has made this phenomenon more accessible and easier to gauge and discuss? Ya never know with these things.
So, perhaps this is not a major part of your husband’s sexuality but a minor one. The way I’m
I’m a woman in my early 30s, three years out of a decadelong relationship that featured traditional, infrequent, and very unsatisfying sex. Now that I’m getting reacquainted with my sexuality, I’m making up for lost time and discovering that I’m much kinkier than I realized! I’ve been having lots of fun saying “yes” to any sexual scenario that piques my interest—bondage, a threesome, polyamorous partners—and am hungry for more. My question is: How do I find them?
I don’t give off kinky vibes. I’m a mother, dress traditionally femme, and strike people as a “girl next door”—a persona I love subverting behind closed doors. I live in a somewhat conservative, rural university town and work in a community-facing field that requires I be discreet, so I don’t feel like I can go freely cruising on apps. The bar scene here caters to the student crowd; my friends are mostly colleagues. Being safe (physically and sexually) is important to me, and I’m more interested in finding partners for regular play than an anonymous one-night stand. I’m not near any big cities, and we don’t have anything like a swingers’ club (at least that Google has been able to reveal), but I’m sure others like me are out there. How do I subtly advertise myself as a kindred spirit?
Uh, it seems like you’re doing fine? Bondage, a threesome, and polyamorous partners in the past three years? That’s more excitement than a lot of people experience in a lifetime. Given your hawkish approach to discretion, moving at a slower pace and taking the kink as it trickles in might just be what you have to do. But I suppose there are ways to maximize your sex having. You can talk to the kinky/poly partners you’ve had about where to find more and/or congregate. You may not feel comfortable
